My sinuses are acting up so I feel pretty shitty right now.Was supposed to celebrate Ems b-day this saturday,but since Kiddo has a soccer game I doubt we'll be able to go.So,instead I'm going to celebrate Lauras b-day.I'm gonna talk Patrick into going with me.Either I'm celebrating someones b-day.I need to get them both a present.I'm thinking about dying my hair again tonight.Yeah,watch it fall out.LOL.

Yay!!!! My buddy Patrick is supposed to be coming home today!!!! I haven't seen him in about four years.We've kept in touch,kind of.He e-mailed me monday saying he'd be home until the 11th.I have a couple of plans for the weekend going around,but nothing definite.I need a plan!!!!!!!

Today was long and boring,and it only seemed to get worse as the day progressed.The shitty weather doesn't seem to help at all.It's ironic,it's ironic that the liquid used to euthanize animals is this happy hot pink color.It doesn't bother me though.I do sympathize,but I don't cry,not over them,not unless I really knew them,but even then I don't cry to be honest.I had to hold one once.It's body writhed and jolted,then nothing.Just breathing,slow,listless breathing.I didn't feel anything.Does that make me emotionless?I just feel numb these days.I mean I smile and laugh,but inside,just a void.It's like some blackhole where my soul should be,if I still have one,probably not.Nothing feels right.

Still tired.Kind of forcing and pushing myself through the day.I guess I have to.I think too much at night,that's probably why I'm sleeping much anymore.Too much is on my mind.Keep trying to re-adjust things in my head.Trying to find what I could have done to improve and what not.It;s not good for me,but I've always been that way.Only,maybe this time it's actually taking affect on me.Three relatives are concerned with my health.Apparently I've lost too much weight according to them,but I don't think so.I miss my friend.I miss talking.I guess it doesn't matter anymore.

Yeah,my sleep is getting worse.I only catch a few hours here and there.I want to sleep,I'm tired,but I can't.I just can not fall asleep.Visited my sis up at college today,which was ok.We had Leigh and Paul go with us.After countless nagging by my sis and Ems,I have given my soul to My Space.It's ok I guess.